I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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