She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
