it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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