Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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