So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
