if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
