there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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