i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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