what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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