I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
