About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Floor bacon is actually really good
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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