Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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