I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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