I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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