I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
