I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
