my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
