apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
