I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
