what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
