can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize