In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
