the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you win again, gameday.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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