I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize