I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize