i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
