Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
