Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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