Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
