Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just high enough for therapy.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
