I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
