like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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