2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
