This is not my ceiling
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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