There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
