I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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