the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I wear drunk well.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
