I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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