i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
