I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
