...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
