Don't make out with my wife yet
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
