just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
