Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You smell like stripper and shame
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
