if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
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