so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
