So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The uberlube is also flammable
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize