There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
handjob tips. give me some.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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