We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
