So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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