So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
