YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize