i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
