There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
