Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
