If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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