dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
