If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
