another moral hangover. fuck.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
