after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
