That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
