when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
