mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
