I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
