Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
